Cheryl Banko
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Once I learned this it changed everything…

10/15/2020

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I’ve been wondering for 40 some odd years how in the world I can feel cranky and negative at the most inappropriate times.  Do you know what I mean?
I have been to Plum island beach on a beautiful day with my greatest friends and been in a bad mood for no reason at all. If you are ever visiting a beach called PLUM Island that is this beautiful and feel like a big bitch head you might wonder what’s wrong with you, too.
I was here. I was cranky.
So, It turns out that’s normal. Life is 50 percent negative and 50 percent positive emotions by design.
If you didn’t experience negative feelings you wouldn’t feel positive either. We are not meant to be happy all the time. (Isnt’ that just Bullshit?) Half of the time we can expect to feel negative emotions.
Knowing this changed everything for me. I didn’t have to spend anymore energy in the fight against it. I could just be with all my friends on the beach on a sunny day and be grumpy and no longer be mad at myself for it. I could be sad about Covid-19, about Trump, about my unfolded laundry, god knows what nothing at all and know it was normal and I didn’t have to change it. Most negative emotion is intolerable because we resist it. We feel guilty. I’m supposed to be happy all the time. My goodness I have clean drinking water and others don’t. Nope, you’re not supposed to be happy. Not 50 percent of the time. That one thought gave me so much freedom.
When you start moving towards yourself and towards the negative emotion and not judge yourself it’s no longer intolerable. Having negative emotion is part of being human. You no longer have to judging the experience of being you bitch head and all.
So, if I win a 100 million dollars on powerball or go back to Plum Island I’ll still be feeling negative emotions half the time. I think that’s good to know.
So next time you have a head ache, a soul ache, a not doing enough covid cleaning ache you can know you aren’t alone and nothings wrong with you.
You’re just a human and the positive half of emotions is on the way…..
Love,
Cheryl


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